Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
