Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
