if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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