He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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