That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
