It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
