How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My ass is underappreciated
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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