he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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