I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
