she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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