i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
