I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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