batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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