It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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