just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
