so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
