I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
