This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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