You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
