I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
