Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
