somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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