5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
