Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
