We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
