Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were trust falling into bushes
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
