You're a womanizer and a bitch.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
