don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
