ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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