Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize