You're completely useless in the revolution.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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