porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
