I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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