I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
