this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
