Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This is my gift to your gina
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
