I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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