BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
