Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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