She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
