but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
