i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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