1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
