Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
