8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
