Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
