I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
