it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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