Your mouth is God's brothel.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
