if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
