She's JV to your varsity
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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