Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
