she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
two words: eviction party
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
